Break Through Problems and Reset with Aloha'Ola

You May Not Realize What a Pain in the You-Know-What You Are (To Yourself) – And Why That’s a Problem

Let’s be honest—you might just be the most relentless, nagging, self-critical person in your life. Not to your friends, not to your family, but to yourself. You nitpick, you overanalyze, you replay mistakes like your brain is a 24/7 rerun channel of Things I Should’ve Done Differently.

And if you’ve ever caught yourself spiraling in an internal monologue that sounds something like:

• Why did I say that?
• Ugh, I should’ve known better.
• Seriously, get it together.

Then congratulations! You are officially exhausting yourself.

Here’s the thing: We live in a time where “living unapologetically” is all the rage. And while that’s great, somewhere along the way, we confused never apologizing with empowerment. Like admitting we could’ve done better somehow makes us weak.

But what if I told you that apologizing to yourself isn’t about guilt or losing power—it’s about setting yourself free?

The Inner Conflict Nobody Talks About

We tend to think of conflict as something that happens between people. Arguments, disagreements, old grudges. But the biggest conflicts? The ones that really drain us?

They happen inside our own heads.

• When we hold onto regret.
• When we beat ourselves up for things we can’t change.
• When we refuse to forgive ourselves, even though we’d forgive a friend in a heartbeat.

It’s like carrying around a backpack full of rocks labeled “Guilt,” “Self-Doubt,” and “Why Am I Like This?” Then we wonder why we feel so tired.

But here’s the secret: You can put the backpack down.

Ho’oponopono & Aloha Ola: The Path to Inner Peace

While on a recent business trip to Hawaii performing my entertainment Hypnosis Show Experience for Norwegian Cruise Lines, I became inspired by ancient Hawaiian practices for self healing. If you’ve never heard of Ho’oponopono, it’s a Hawaiian practice, used for centuries, of forgiveness and self-reconciliation that works through four simple, yet powerful phrases:

• I’m sorry (For the ways I’ve been hard on myself.)
• Please forgive me (For carrying what I no longer need.)
• Thank you (For the lessons and the growth.)
• I love you (Because I deserve it.)

When we blend this wisdom with Aloha Ola— the spirit of love, life, and well-being— we step into something even deeper. Not just letting go of the past, but creating space for more ease, joy, and self-acceptance.

Because real power isn’t about never apologizing. It’s about knowing when to clear the slate so you can move forward without dragging the past behind you.

Apologizing to Yourself is NOT Weakness (Let’s Clear That Up)

There’s this weird belief floating around that saying “I’m sorry” somehow diminishes your strength. That it means you’re admitting defeat, giving in, or making yourself small.

But here’s the truth: Owning your humanness is not weakness—it’s freedom.

Imagine you have two choices:

1. Spend the next five years mentally roasting yourself for every mistake you’ve ever made.
2. Take a deep breath, acknowledge what’s done, and move forward with self-compassion.

Option two? Way lighter. Way healthier. Way more freeing.

Because when you clear the emotional clutter—when you stop fighting yourself—you actually have space to fully live.

How to Stop Being a Pain in Your Own You-Know-What

If you’re ready to stop battling yourself and start living with more peace and clarity, here’s what to do:

1. Catch Yourself in the Act
   The next time you catch yourself spiraling in self-judgment (Why did I say that? What’s wrong with me?), pause. Take a breath. Realize you’re being way harder on yourself than necessary.

2. Use the Four Phrases
   Try this: Close your eyes. Put your hand over your heart. Say these words out loud or in your mind:

   • I’m sorry. (For being so hard on myself.)
   • Please forgive me. (For not giving myself more grace.)
   • Thank you. (For still showing up, still trying.)
   • I love you. (Because I deserve it.)

3. Let That Sh*t Go
   Imagine setting down that heavy backpack of guilt and doubt. Feel what it’s like to walk forward without it.

Living Unapologetically Starts With Inner Freedom

Want to live boldly, fully, without hesitation? Then stop holding yourself hostage.

Living unapologetically isn’t about refusing to say sorry—it’s about knowing when to let go, knowing when to clear the slate, and knowing that real power comes from peace, not resistance.

So, the next time you catch yourself being a pain in your own you-know-what?

Take a breath. Set yourself free. And say it with me:

I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.

Because when you stop making yourself the enemy, everything starts to flow.

Go here to DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE ALOHA-OLA MEDITATION AUDIO 

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 De'Anna Nunez is a Board Certified Hypnotist and subconscious transformation coach who helps people break free from self-doubt, old patterns, and inner resistance. Through Strengths-Based, Hypnosis De'Anna guides clients to unlock clarity, confidence, and lasting change. If you're ready to step into your next level of freedom and possibility, connect with De'Anna Nunez today.

In-office and online sessions are available. Go Here to Work with De'Anna