Navigating Loss: How My Father's Passing Rekindled My Understanding of Connection

Navigating Loss: How My Father's Passing Rekindled My Understanding of Connection

Life has a way of unfolding unexpectedly. My father's recent passing was one such moment for me.

He was a man of gentle strength, friendly but quiet, a lover of horses, hiking, waterskiing, and the great outdoors.

As a young man, he served in the Navy and became a cowboy at heart, enjoying ranch life most of his life. He was married to his devoted wife, Terri, for 48 years.

After retirement in Lake Tahoe, he moved to a suburban neighborhood near the wide open land where wild horses roam.

At almost 92 years old, his health decline was swift, and he mentally aligned with being "ready."

Last week, I abruptly canceled my calendar and flew out to be by his side. (Thank you to those who fully understood). Within 30 hours of being in his home, he peacefully exhaled his last breath while listening to Allen Jackson sing Amazing Grace. I sat quietly, stunned. Sobbing. My step-mom and I did well as a team.

There was a funny moment earlier in the day when we asked if he was in pain or needed anything. He answered, “Tequila.” As you can imagine, we laughed out loud. “Tequila?” He’s not even a drinker, really, but he enjoyed his margaritas from time to time. 

That night, I slept restlessly and very little. When I woke up, I felt like a grieving 7-year-old. My parents divorced when I was very young, and my mom was awarded full custody. My Dad became an "every other weekend" Dad.

I pined for him, missing him daily, and that feeling resurfaced the day after his passing.

This wasn't my first rodeo with my Dad. I had "Daddy issues" for years, which manifested as a need for attention, like a happy golden retriever waiting to be thrown a ball. It's almost comical that I became a Stage Hypnotist performing in front of adoring crowds. I got my needs met alright; I got the attention I had longed for. 

In the quiet of the next few days, I noticed something peculiar. His home was adorned with many framed family pictures, but I was not in them. There was one tiny photo. It was a picture of me, my step-sister, and my cousin swimming in Lake Tahoe. I must have been 9 or 10. Yet, there were no pictures of me—at various ages, the daughter who courageously carved out a big, full life—not one. I wondered why that was.

Did I love my Father but not know him? Did he not know me?

When you have pictures of someone on your fridge, it usually signifies a deep connection.

I'll love that man forever. Just thinking about him now as I write twists my stomach and waters my eyes. With a love so raw and real, why am I not on his fridge?

Who are the people that make it onto your walls, your desk, or your fridge?

Are you prioritizing them to water and cultivate a deep relationship? Do they know how you feel about them?

My Father always meaningfully said, "I love you," but the words never explained why. Was it just because I was his daughter? Or did he respect the person I've become, how I overcame challenging times or the principles I stand for?

It's strange how our family can be blood and DNA yet not really know us. We can't wait for them to ask.

We must create our family.

It's those people we share intimate moments with, whom we help when hardship hits, or who serve as our sounding boards. Those we have allowed ourselves to be vulnerable with. They are our family. And heck, if those people are family, well then, bonus! 

We must spend time getting to know ourselves so we can take actions that improve our lives and create enriching relationships.

I was talking with a client today who feels isolated. While her husband has many friends and hobbies, she mostly connects through business. But she doesn't want to be working just to stay connected.

She shared her worries and realizations about her isolation. I asked, "Tell me what you want, not just what you don't want." "You're in a new chapter," I said.

"Who do you want to be in this season of your life? What lights you up and checks all your boxes?"

Before you know it, she began sharing with exuberance and envisioning her life ahead.

Just thinking about this envisioned life motivated her and lifted her spirits. She felt empowered by the productive questions I had given her. 

Since I stepped on my first stage in 1998 with the US Marines, I have been empowering people to live the lives they envision for themselves.

Whether it's Hypnosis entertainment, workshops and seminars, boutique empowerment patio events, or one-on-one in my office, this is what I help people do: to discover their courage, heal the insides, and identify what living a full life means to them.

That can mean owning up to some mistakes and forgiving yourself to set yourself free.

It can be showing up as an open book, ready to create the next chapter, or addressing something you haven't been able to on your own.

"What you face, you can handle," said a mentor of mine.

In this outreach, I wanted to stimulate your thoughts and inspire you to take new, heart-centered actions.

I also wanted to let you know I'm back in the office. I spent 10 days there for my dad and my stepmom, and I'm so pleased I was. And then, I took some time for myself to emotionally unpack.

My journey will continue to unfold with grace and peace of mind, I am confident.

And I'm back in my office doing the incredible growth work I love, creating connections and bridges for amazing people like you.

Thank you for being in my circle, my posse, my rodeo.

Three Valuable Lessons from My Journey:

One: Prioritize Deep Connections: Reflect on who holds a place on your walls and in your heart. Cultivate those relationships and ensure they know how you feel.

Two: Envision Your Desired Life: Instead of focusing on what you don't want, think about what lights you up. Envisioning a positive future can lift your spirits and motivate you to take empowering actions.

 Three: Face and Embrace Challenges: Confronting and addressing personal issues can set you free. Whether it's through forgiving yourself or showing up ready to create the next chapter, facing your challenges head-on can lead to personal growth and fulfillment.

Remember, I'm here to help you navigate your journey through hypnosis, empowerment events, or one-on-one sessions. Let's discover your courage to live a full life together.

 To your courage,   

P.S. 

Interested in working with me? Go to HTTP://www.CallDNow.com to book a professional consultation. 

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